checking in
My son slept beside me tonight and we held hands until he feel asleep. I was trying real hard to be in the moment. But my brain kept trying to change the channel. I had control in the beginning but the darkness of the room added to the sensation of panic. Why can't my brain just focus on the moment. Like when I was skydiving, or going down the giant slides at a water park. I guess it's the adrenaline rush. How I wanted to cherish the moment with more clear head. He kept holding my hand. He requested that we pray so he won't have nightmares. He said the first time we prayed, he didn't have bad dreams that night. We did homeschool today. I did chores around the house, mostly kitchen duties. I had multiple conversations with my MIL today. For the most part, I try not engage too much. I feel like she fibs a lot sometimes. Just like when I notice my husband fibs. She goes past the curtains and asks her son if he is going to eat. She has racist tendencies towards other peopl